The Marvels (2023) it’s a flop and it should be

The marvels will land on DVD February 24 and that’s really where this Trainwreck belongs.

The effects are standard and in most cases predictable the plot is so simple a preschooler could scribbpe it and the acting deserves to be on daytime TV, and that is beibg generous to say the least.

To make matters worse, there isn’t much for anyone not engrossed in the MCU already the backstory of captain marvel her fan and the astronaut are skipped over in the most part.

Suffice it to say, the three join forces and take on Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton), the ruler of the Kree (the world captain marvel comes from if you didn’t know) She wants a pair of bracelets with mega magical powers and, sure enough per the poor writing, one of the Marvels has one of them. You can guess how this spins out.

Normally, these films involve some personal journey but this pretty much stays on track and takes place in a world where bad sets are common. There is even a cringe worthy planet where captain is married to a prince you really do wish simply doesn’t exist..what were they thinking other than a child may like it.

Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) checks in, too, but that could be because he has a long-term contract (not unlike John Ratzenberger’s with Pixar) that allows the company to drop him anywhere. He commandeers the three Marvels cos we’ll he needes to do..something..but doesn’t say anything about their very bad superhero costumes.

While there’s an interesting superhero/fangirl thing going on, it’s completely pointless bless and annoying to say the least. Khan’s family is lurking in the wings, but they never seem to question the relationship Kamala has with Carol. Or actually put in an thing other than an additional crap performance and stereotyping their race.

Directed by Nia DaCosta, “The Marvels” even gives short shrift to Goose, the orange cat who steals scenes with abandon. Goose is barely around (yet another mistake) or called on to help Danvers claw out of a situation.

Because we know so little about the characters on the movie we have to assume that the villain actually is a villain and not someone simply tryna kf to rebuild a broken world. She seems to know about the marvels and their powers already.

No doubt good is good and evil is everyone on the outside.

Larson isn’t given much to do but Parris and Vellani have scenes that should help them come out from her shadow. A villain-fighting female trio is interesting but completely unnecessary other than to tick the box for femanists around the globe as marvel seems to do now.

To her credit, DaCosta gets this wrapped up in under two hours. She takes advantage of the credit sequence, too, and doesn’t waste time with protracted fights.

“The Marvels” is idiotic badly written badly acted and just seems to be bad attempt to bring together TV and movie fans it should be a TV movie or direct to streaming service. Please only watch this for a laugh 2/5 sorry try harder.

https://youtu.be/uwmDH12MAA4?si=HwdH0jFucIQwZoHz