When Warner Bros. announced yet another reboot of Superman, longtime fans held their breath—was this finally the return to truth, justice, and good storytelling? Unfortunately, what landed was not a bold new vision, but a confused, tone-deaf mess that feels more like a sketch show parody than the cinematic resurrection of the world’s most iconic hero.

From the garish, over-produced birth of Kal-El (complete with slow-motion amniotic sparkles for some reason) to a finale where the laws of physics—and logic—go to die, Superman (2025) is a two-hour reminder of just how far the DCEU has lost the plot.

Characters: Paper Thin and Plastic Wrapped

Let’s talk about Superman. Our new Clark Kent—played with the dramatic subtlety of a shampoo ad—is all pecs and platitudes, a walking Pinterest quote board in a cape. His moral compass seems to spin wildly depending on the scene, and his emotional depth rarely goes beyond a furrowed brow and a dramatic pause.

And Supergirl? Once a proud, powerful symbol of strength in her own right, she’s reduced here to a quip-spouting meme machine. She drops into battles with TikTok sass, clunky exposition, and baffling mood swings. Her character arc seems based more on Instagram trends than Kryptonian lore.

Then there’s that Green Lantern, we just have to make a cal out to this one a member of the “Justice Gang”. Yes, the one played by none other than Richard Castle himself Nathan Fillion. It’s painful to even type this. A once-revered name in genre storytelling reduced to an intergalactic punchline with bad hair. With glowing green contact lenses and dialogue that sounds like it was stolen from a rejected Deadpool script, Castle delivers a performance so wooden it could be used to build a new Hall of Justice. The phrase “how the mighty have fallen” doesn’t even cut it—it’s more of a nosedive for a paycheck. At one point, his Lantern quips, “Let’s light up this joint,” before doing absolutely nothing of value. Somewhere, the spirit of Hal Jordan is weeping into his ring. (Though we have to say still better than Ryan Reynolds..sorry)

The Plot? Please Don’t Ask.

There is technically a plot—something about multiverse fractures, emotional trauma from an alternate timeline, and a world-ending device shaped like a giant Kryptonian Rubik’s cube. But the narrative is so convoluted and nonsensical that it feels like the writers just grabbed ideas out of a hat labeled “Stuff That Sounds Cool.” It’s as if someone tried to make Inception with crayons and YouTube lore videos.

And in typical modern fashion, the script can’t go three minutes without a wink to the audience. There’s no sincerity, no heart—just snark, CGI, and fan-service so desperate it practically begs you to clap.

The Real Superpower? Disrespect

But what truly stings isn’t the cheap writing or bloated effects budget—it’s the absolute disregard for everything Superman is meant to stand for. This isn’t reinvention. It’s desecration. The hopeful, humble farm boy who became a god among men is nowhere to be found. In his place is an emotionally vacant action figure with no real motivation beyond looking cool in slow motion.

The film doesn’t just misunderstand Superman—it mocks him. And it mocks the fans who have loved him for decades.

Verdict: Faster Than a Speeding Disappointment

Superman (2025) is a trainwreck wrapped in a cape. It takes everything beloved about the character and throws it in a blender with social media trends, low-effort one-liners, and performances that range from robotic to cringe-inducing.

Even the supporting cast, including a bafflingly out-of-place Martian Manhunter cameo and a Lex Luthor who behaves like an over-caffeinated Elon Musk, seem like they’re in completely different movies.

This wasn’t just a bad Superman film. It’s a bad film, full stop.

One out of five stars for the laughs

“Like kryptonite to the soul—this one hurts.”