November 29, 2022

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F9: The Fast Saga (2021)

5 min read

The latest entry into the world of the fast and furious has to be one of the most unbelievable yet, now don’t get me wrong this is a good movie. Dom (Vin Diesel) and the crew are back and this time its family, has to be one of the better releases this year, its just that the effects and story have to now be getting more ridiculous by the movie… its still fun.

We start out quiet, Dom and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) have retired from the fast paced world they lived in, to live on a quiet farm with Dom’s son Brian. They live the quiet life fixing tractors, sitting on the porch… that is until the gang turn up, Tej, Ramsey and Roman show up with a message from Mr Nobody their secret service master from the last couple of movies. Turns out that his plane has gone down in enemy country and it was carrying part of a secret weapon the bad guys want.

The team then decide to go find Nobody and help him back as this message was only sent to them.

This is where the fun begins, after they get back the item, they are ambushed by a whole army.. so what do they do… they drive… fast. Supposedly through minefields and gunfire that would shred most cars in seconds. its the minefields that are funny here, apparently mines don’t have any power, and for some reason these ones don’t have any shrapnel so can destroy cars but not people a few feet away.

Here we are now introduced to the new element.. Dom has a brother Jakob (John Cena) they were estranged years ago and he now works for the bad guys.. His brother turns up in the midst of the battle and snatches the piece from the team… so the fight is on.

The movie now progresses as you predict, we have the new Jakob element hell bent on being better than his brother, we have flashbacks to how they were torn apart by the death of their father.

There is then a quick trip to London as more of an excuse to get Helen Mirren back in the movie from Hobbs and Shaw..

A vault in Edinburgh which looked more like an excuse to include that fine city and some tourist shots, something tells me they got some money from the Scottish tourist board on that one..

Of course there are plot twists, cipher gets in on the act, there is a chase with a 60+ foot long armoured truck… because.. why not.

And the of course now expected, happy ending at a now being rebuilt Torreto house..

All in all a highly stupid, unbelievable romp around the globe, that is to be expected, those who say this is a bad movie… well that’s up to the viewer. You don’t watch a F&F movie for its high brow content or its Oscar winning performances, this is a distraction from reality pure and simple. The effects are hilarious but well done. The story is nicely unbelievable and that’s the point. The movie is already grossing past $600m so you can pretty much guarantee another either direct fast movie or spinoff like hobs and Shaw (see the end sequence).

(Spoilers)

the effects in this movie though are now at a whole new level of lame, well executed but lame.

We have “super magnets” that can pull anything metal against your car, without moving your car. So they are speeding down a road at 80 turn this magnet on and their adversary is pulled towards them but they don’t move… how. And tow cars with these magnets can somehow flip a 60+ foot armoured truck by simply pulling up either side… why doesn’t this just destroy the cars?

these though are not even the worst effects, apparently our friends from Tokyo Drift, can now build spacecraft… out of a Pontiac! Fresh from NCIS New Orleans Tokyo drifts Sean (Lucas Black) is back and now working as a rocket maker, so obviously they build a rocket powered car to nip up to a orbiting satellite to destroy it… Like you do, then to drift in space to somehow land at the international space station.

And then there is Dom, the indestructible Dom who has to have adamantium bones and skin of Kevlar, he jumps from exploding cars, off crashing trucks. Gets beaten by an army.. literally and all he has to show for it is a couple bruises and saying ow for 3 seconds after Letty pulls him from near death.

Plus let us just add, Scotish walls are not, like American ones, built from wood they would do much more damage to a human and they WILL not simply crumble, they have been there for centuries through warrs, being banged by a big man will not splinter them. Plus if there was a bad guy swinging around Scotland, more likely a scot would take it on themselves to stop it rather than wait for Dom to drive like a nutter.. UK police will not gang up in a chase, in fact through London traffic, they would probably not even chase you, more likely to watch you on CCTV and try to set up a stinger trap, plus the only road in London isnt to Buckingham palace. Wouldnt make much of a movie scene just one car following at a safe distance but it just wouldnt happen.

Anyway… overall this is a fun two hours for anyone into this franchise, we see the return of some old family, the introduction of a new member to the team in the form of Doms brother and Cipher is back.

You would think after 9 movies they would be out of good ideas, well..erm.. they are but its still fun. Cipher is back, the movie has a title sequence for you to launch the next movie.. this isnt the last time we will see Dom and the team.. to be continued.

So all in all this is indeed a stupid, unbelievable movie.. but thats the point, they know it they embrace it, and we all enjoy it.. long may they continue until they simply cant.

As a F&F movie 4 out of 5

as a Movie 1 out of 5

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